INDISPUTABLE FACTS YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT EVERY YORUBA MAN

I hate writing castigatory article! What do I mean? I mean you should not feel about this article as a mere tribalism slandering piece of write-up. No, it's absolutely indisputable fact you should know about every Yoruba man!


I happened to become a friend to almost five Yoruba guys while I was still at Agege central. During these days, a lot that mouth is too small to speak, ears are too scanty to hear,  mind is too shallow to absorb and eyes are too thin to see took place under my naked eyes and immediate presence.

Since I was born, the only feigning  ever company I have seen to keep is a yoruba man! Ask me, why?

We were very good friends then. This was when I was staying at Suru street Agege, off stadium, Agege local government. During one Christmas period, I traveled down to Benue state to celebrate the year with my family. On returning to Lagos, I lost my job. Arising from the state of job opportunity here in Nigeria, for complete one year I had no job. I had no money. When I said I had "No Money" I mean to the lowest denomination of our currency which is five naira (N5.00). At that time, to eat had become a big problem for me. I could hardly see at least a loaf of bread to sustain myself for the whole day.  What option was left? The only option was to go and lie down waiting for a new day if miracle would accidentally happen. I could only lie faced down; I dared not face up. Why in this position of sleeping? Yes, I lie faced down in order to minimize the level and pace of beating of drum in which hunger was using in my stomach. I was in this state for some couple of times.

Ask me, "Where were those Yoruba guys who claimed to be my friends?". They all ran away! Because what they were enjoying before was no longer there. That was the first great lesson I ever learnt from making friends with Yoruba man.


I only gave, and will always give credit to one of my brothers who stood by me in that terrible state of life. He was the only person who would look into my eyes and said, "Friday, you look depressed and hungry, take this N30 to go and buy beans and pap, I think it will take you a little long way for the day."
It was no other person than in a person of GODWIN AGIH. May his gentle soul rest in perfect peace. Amen!!

Yes, a Yoruba man would keep telling you that, "You are my best friend" (Ore mi gidi le leyi). He would visit you hundred times in a day. He would call you twenty times in a day.
Why is he doing all this? Undoubtedly, he does all this simply because he drastically parasites you of your riches; e.g mostly food, money and others. As long as you have something that someone can eat or tap from, you remain a best friend to a Yoruba man.
But what happens when you are at life comfort zero level? A yoruba man becomes deaf to hear your calls; he becomes blind to see road to your house, he becomes busy to have time for you. Yes, that is the fact!

Note: He makes friend with only people he feeds from them.

Parasite Nature Of A Yoruba Man:

What is parasite?

Parasite can be defined as a living organism that feeds on another animal (host).

Therefore, here we can quickly define a Yoruba man as human-parasite that habitually feeds on another human beings selfishly.

A Yoruba man will never see you eating without joining you automatically. What am I insinuating? The insinuation here is that a Yoruba man never waits for you to call him, "My friend, come and eat" before joining you.
A Yoruba man is like a fly. The fly nature of a Yoruba man here is likened to the way fly never minds to die but all it's  after, it's to get what its eyes got a glimpse look at. Fly never perceives any food without flying after it. In the same vein, a Yoruba man will never let you go, or let go of the food if hasn't eat it. He will pamper you, calls you all sorts of sweet names until he eats the food. As fly so much love not to let go of whatsoever food it sees until it feeds on it; but never tolerates sharing things in common, so the Yoruba man. Fly will never allow you to touch even its excrete let alone the other valuable belongings. Therefore, a Yoruba man can be said to be a "Fly Incarnate".

A Yoruba man as the most dirtiest mammal on the planet if one manages to exclude pig in comparison:

A Yoruba man farts (mess) 20 times in a minute. Adding up the whole minutes for twenty four hours, he is confirmed to farts 1200 times in an hour; and 28800 times in a day. What a messy way of life!

A Yoruba man sleeps with shit/excreta  in his living room.

A Yoruba man urinates in his bedroom.

A Yoruba man excretes in his room.

A Yoruba man prefers "ewedu" to Egwusi, vegetable, okro soup.

A yoruba man prefers walking bare footed to wearing shoes; that is why they dominate the white garment Church (Celestial Church).

A Yoruba man would use his last blood to save money for an event, occasions and other amusement moments. He would use complete one year gathering money to do naming ceremony; but wouldn't want to spend a minute gathering cash for tangible investment.

A Yoruba man loves going to party and clubs like mad.

A Yoruba man loves drinking like bee!

A Yoruba man can rake, making noise while angry, foaming like he wants to burst now but has no power to fight. Never fear a Yoruba man while ranting like a little rat for he has no guts to back up that ranting. A Yoruba man has no power to fight.

A Yoruba man loves becoming a tout "Agbero" than to find some work to do.

A Yoruba man instituted "AGBERO" area boys and commotion in every motor park in the town.

A Yoruba man loves to stay at home every morning than to go outside and find daily bread.

A Yoruba man begs like mad.

My dear reader, I think I should pen up at this point. This is the little you should know about a Yoruba man. If you have more to add, feel free to add them using comment box below.

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